wont drive 5 minutes to a friends house but is willing to drive 13 minutes for a breakfast burrito


don’t date someone you wouldn’t have a harry potter movie marathon with


"yeah, everything’s fine, i just tucked your kid into bed. but can i cover up the clown statue in the corner? it’s freaking me out"

"what? we dont have a kid. take our clown statue and get out of the house right now"

Just discovered this gem on Twitter today.

(Source: thequeenbey)

(Source: basemall)



this eases the entire fuck out of my mind.


(Source: algoll)

(Source: tldrwikipedia)

IT’S OCTOBER MOTHERFUCKER:a list of the movies/shows/stories I can’t make it through October without watching/reading. mostly selections that are special to me for nostalgic reasons, with a few more modern choices thrown in that remind me of that nostalgic feeling.

MOVIES:Trick r Treat | Ginger Snaps | Scream 2 3 4 | The Faculty | Hocus Pocus | Halloweentown | Donnie Darko | The Nightmare Before Christmas | Jeepers Creepers | Beetlejuice | The Craft | ParaNorman | Jennifer’s Body | Mom’s Got A Date With A Vampire | Under Wraps | Sleepy Hollow | Coraline | Planet Terror | The Rocky Horror Picture Show | The Addams Family | Monster House | Halloween | The Crow | The Strangers | The Blair Witch Project | The Lost Boys | All Cheerleaders Die
TELEVISION EPISODES:Freaks & Geeks | Dead Like Me | Bob’s Burgers 2 | Community 2 3 4 | Roseanne 2 3 4 5 6 7 | Parks & Rec 2 | Regular Show 2 3 | Rugrats | The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy | Ed Edd & Eddy | Boy Meets World | Friends | Modern Family | Kim Possible | Gravity Falls | Pushing Daisies | It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia
STORIES:The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy & Other Stories | Sometimes They Come Back | The Boogeyman | The Lawnmower Man | The Mangler | Grey Matter | Zombillennium | I Luv Halloween | Batman: The Long Halloween | Franklin’s Halloweenquick reading: letsnotmeet & cracked/horror
“If you don’t end up smiling while you are kissing someone, you are probably kissing the wrong person.”
Unknown (via blackbruise)

(Source: lil-plant-princess)


when girls press their whole body against you when they hug, it means they like you a lot. also, they’re measuring your body to determine how long it will take them to eat your flesh, a technique shared by boa constrictors

(Source: faithlehaane)


i woke up like dis

(Source: diaryofabaglady)

(Source: viergacht)